1. |
Confession
03:45
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I've got a confession to make
Don’t even know why I’m here
So much aggression to take
Let go and I’ll disappear
I used to have a vision
I used to have objectives
Now only have objections
I can’t take one decision
My own mind’s in division
Facing my own collapsing
Facing my indecision
Forever I must relive
I've got a confession to make
Don’t know how long I’ll be here
So much more than I can take
So much that I can’t take
I was my own world to make
Instead I blew it all off
I just ran out of love
So I sit here and I break
So I sit here and I break
Down
I break down
I break down
I break you and I break down
Not knowing what I do best
Knowing what I suck at best
Not taking a break no rest
I forgot why I left for
Used to be clear in my head
Used to know what I wanted
Now I just know I’m unwell
I know I’m fucking wasted
Wasted for humanity
Wasted for my family
Wasted possibility
But in the end do I care
In the end who will care
In the end no one care
It will end and I swear
I swear if I was given
Another chance at this game
I would do things differently
Wouldn’t give up easily
I Wouldn’t break like I do
wouldn’t break down like I do
But now I do
I break down
I break down
I break you and I break down
I break down
I break down
I break you and I break down
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2. |
Identityreasondoubt
04:14
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So who am I
The things I thought I was, I’m not.
The things I thought mattered don’t
I thought I knew where I was
I’ve never been more lost
And the ones I thought would care
They don’t
So I’m sitting on my own, comfortable.
Wondering if it’s worth it
To start again, or to take care of what I already have
Even though it’s lost its value
Even though it’s lost its shine.
Even though
They will always bring me pain
They will never understand
They will always think I’m wrong
It won’t matter in the end
So I’m sitting in my car, far
I’m sitting in the dark, wondering
Listening to my own music and crying
Should I turn back and be grateful
Or should I sit straight and move on from the ones
That will always bring me pain
That will never understand
That will always think I’m wrong
They won’t matter in the end
So what is it worth
What does it mean to be mistaken about everything
When everything you believe in disappears
When everything that mattered never existed
When you were blind, confused, lying to yourself,
And suddenly the illusion wears off
What do you see, what do you do
What is your next step
When you’ve forgotten how to walk
And you’ve got no-one left to hold on to?
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3. |
Saviour
03:50
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Well I’m sad to see
That this is how it works
And I’m sad for the time
That it took me to get it
That it took me to get it
I’m sad to realise
That half of growing up
Also means understanding
That sometimes you can’t fix things
Sometimes you can’t fix things
And I wanted to prove
And I wanted to make it
And I wanted so bad
To shape things the way they look nice
Even if they aren’t nice
I don’t know anymore
Does everyone feel that
Does everyone go through
Life while pretending
Everything’s ok
And hide all the fuck-ups
And hide all the pain
And hide all the broken
Hide all the not normal
Under a carpet
So this is what life is
The reality is
We're all fucking broken
We struggle to cover up
We struggle to pretend
3 We try and stay as safe
As we possibly can
As the lightest blow
Might break us apart again
(And we had it together again)
So we don't call for help
We say we are alright
After all we're alright
Everyone is alright
Nobody is crying
When no-one is watching
Nobody is thinking
every night after night
This is too hard for me
Make it stop let me be
Make it stop make it stop
Stop coming after me
I won’t be saving the world
I’m just another one
I’m just another soul
Don't know what's going on
And got nothing where to go
I have to accept
That sometimes I can’t fix things x4
I don’t know anymore
Does everyone feel that
Does everyone go through
Life while pretending
Everything’s ok
When it is not ok
And hide all the fuck-ups
And hide all the pain
And hide all the broken
Hide all the not normal
Under a carpet
A carpet of lies
I don’t know anymore
My shield is made of glass
My shield doesn’t hide
The pain and the broken
Everything’s not ok
Not everything’s ok
I don’t care anymore
I care so very much
I thought I could fix
I thought I could make it
I thought I could make it
I thought I could make it
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4. |
Doesnthurt
05:14
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It doesn’t hurt me.
I didn’t realise I was in such pain.
Probably because I wasn’t. I was in a passive, black and white pain, because I knew.
Because I saw it coming.
Because I’m used to it.
Or maybe because I’m not 22 anymore.
I was keeping myself from jumping, from diving too deep in. I knew, and I was broken.
Maybe this is gonna be how I am from now on.
Maybe it’s not about sensing the bad stuff coming, maybe it’s about changing, irrevocably.
How life changes us.
How the shit that happens to us changes us. Irreversibly.
How we fall in love.
How we keep ourselves from falling too much.
How we stretch a safety net before jumping from now on, after having broken a few bones.
After having almost thrown up our own heart.
After seeing our own blood, staining the ground. Staining the sheets.
Blurring our sight. Blood, blood.
So we no longer fall in love, anymore.
We trip, we stumble in love. We get vertigo, and we realise how hard we’d fall.
So we cling to the staircase balustrade, and start going down. 2.18 Slowly.
Slowly we step down, then crouch, then kneel. Slowly we take off our shields, one at a time.
One wrong move,one loud noise and the shields are back on, and we run back up the stairs.
Cutting ourselves on the way.
The time it took to put that shield back on, we were vulnerable. And now we’ve got a bloody lip.
And we look down again, and we just see that sharp edge that cut deep in our lip, and the wound is throbbing, and that’s the only thing we see anymore.
And we cry, softly. Silently.
On top of the stairs. Looking down.
Because we’re hurt, because we knew we could get hurt, but also because our past experience of getting hurt allowed us to get out of it with just a bloody lip this time.
But that, knowing that, that hurts.
And we know this isn’t gonna get better.
And we’re scared all the time.
This is something we’ve gotta learn to live with.
It goes with the shields.
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5. |
Endingthis
02:44
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Ça fait mal
Ça fait mal de savoir que tu me comprendras jamais
Ça m'fait mal de savoir que ce sera jamais assez
Ça fait mal de réaliser
que tu verras jamais l'effort
Le travail et les larmes
Juste parce que je suis pas comme toi
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6. |
Forgetting
04:28
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For everytime
I loved you
For everytime
For everytime
I loved you
For everytime
For everytime
I loved you
You broke me
You broke me
You broke me
For everytime
I loved you
You broke me
You killed me
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7. |
Nowake
02:49
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Where are you going
What are you doing
What is your meaning
What is / what is your meaning
Nothing makes sense in the way you do things
Nothing makes sense, you’re empty you’re obscene
Your face disgusts me
Your world sickens me
You don’t feel the urgency
With which I live
Explain to me
Explain
Explain to me
What it is
What is it to live
You Breathe
But what do you see
When you die
Will you even feel it
Again I’m alien
For not caring enough
For caring too much
For seeing through the cracks
Why do you do that
Why do you pretend
Why do you wake up
And do the same shit again
Why do you not care if you care that much
Have you forgotten what we are
I’ll set it on fire
Don’t you know
I will set it on fire
You’re fake, you’re hollow
Explain
Explain to me
What it is
What is it to live
You Breathe
But what do you see
When you die
Will you even feel it
Explain
Explain to me
What it is
What is it to live
You Breathe
But what do you see
When you die
Will you even feel it
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8. |
Sane&safe
03:34
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A monster nested deep inside
You’re a ghost you’re not real
You’re me without being me
You’re what I inflict to myself
You’re the lies i spread across my own eyes
Blinded by myself,
pulling my own trigger
I know nothing is real
Just call my name, i’ll hear your cries
Just call my name, and I will rise
I’ll slash your thousands eyes
I’ll crush your shameful lies
I’m not what you’ve been screaming,
I’m not any of your lies
You made me lose my mind
You thought I wasn’t strong
I will
Find you
And I will
Break you
You made me lose my mind
You thought I wasn’t strong
I will
Find you
And I will
Break you
Is it the end my friend,
is it the end?
My temples are pulsating
Your illusion wears off
I’m watching you fade
You know you’re getting weaker,
And still you twist my words
and still you try to sink me
And you’re turning black as I’m getting strength
You are like a ghost but you’re half dead
Your fake reality fading out with you
You made me lose my mind
You thought I wasn’t strong
I will
Find you
And I will
Break you
You made me lose my mind
You thought I wasn’t strong
I will
Find you
And I will
Break you
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9. |
Videotapes
03:14
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Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
I have to return some videotapes
I have to return some videotapes
Where are you going?
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
I have to return some videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
I have to return some videotapes
I can't explain the exact mechanism but it has something to do with certain videotapes
Videotapes?
Videotapes.
Videotapes?
Videotapes.
Videotapes?
Videotapes. Videotapes. Videotapes.
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
I have to return some -
Videotapes
Videotapes
Videotapes
I have to return some videotapes
I have to return some -
I've gotta return some videotapes!
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10. |
||||
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You're a fucking psycho!
You're a sadist!
You're a terrible person.
You're a lunatic.
You're a fucking psycho!
I killed a lot of people
You're a fucking psycho!
You fucking psycho!
I killed a lot of people
You're a fucking psycho!
You're a fucking psycho!
You're a fucking psycho! -fucking psycho!
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11. |
Keepthemclose
03:18
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We can end this
We can make it better
We've already fought battles that we won.
We could do it again
We could do it
Bigger
Better
More
We could change the world
We could build it anew
We could bring down the walls that we were made to build between each other
in this totalitarian individual state
We could put an end to this forced solitude and rise, as one, as many, as the humans we are
And gain back the dignity, the rights the compassion we lost,
Willingly, cause we’ve been told that’s how a civilised society works
All it takes is to wake up
All it takes is to care
When we care, we can
Just remember
Don’t let things get to you
Don’t let them tell you you’re wrong
Don’t let them tell you you can’t
They don’t like it, when things are good for everyone
They only like it when things are good for them
Just remember
Be relentless
Don’t let them catch their breath
And when they’re down, don’t catch feelings
Don’t give them pity, they wouldn’t give you any
Crush them like they would crush you
Crush them for your fallen friends
Crush them for your kids
Crush them for a better future
Keep your enemies close
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